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ARBEERTRARY & CAPRICIOUS
An Editorial By W. ADAM MANDELBAUM
ARBEERTRARY & CAPRICIOUS
I gave up beer for the New Year, (but not bad poetry it seems).
So, in keeping with the mind’s tendency to think about what is denied the body, I thought I’d take a Raw Law look at some of the stupid regulations in New York concerning beer.
Taste the following:
ALCOHOL BEVERAGE CONTROL LAW S 51. Brewer`s license. 1. Any person may apply to the liquor authority for a license to brew beer within this state for sale 3. A licensed brewer may, under such rules as may be adopted by the liquor authority, sell beer at retail in bulk by the keg, cask or barrel for consumption and not for resale at a clam-bake, barbeque, picnic, outing or other similar outdoor gathering at which more than fifty persons are assembled.
Let’s take a look at good old paragraph 3.
So here we are, gathered at the annual clam bake, or similar outdoor gathering. (Personally, I would love to have an invitation, beckoning me to come to a “similar outdoor gathering.’)
Can’t you see it? You are cordially invited to partake with us in a similar outdoor gathering. Sorry.
So anyway, here comes the New York State Licensed brewer in his minivan. He parks close to the similar outdoor gathering, gets out his hand truck, and plops down some kegs, casks or barrels of beer for consumption. When is he breaking the law? If the similar outdoor gathering lasts from noon to five PM, and at noon there are only 37 people there, can he sell the suds? Does he have to wait until he gets a head count of fifty persons assembled?
Now, what happens, if one minute there are fifty people assembled at the similar outdoor gathering, but Joe decides he has to answer a call to nature at the park provided portable toilet, which now leaves only 49 people assembled. Do beer sales have to stop, until Joe comes back several ounces lighter than he left?
What if the park has multiple picnic sites? How closely do these fifty people have to be assembled so that our licensed brewer can sell his brewskies?
It’s questions like this that keeps me up at night. That and one more question. How come our legislators are so freakin’ stupid?
