Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
An Editorial By W. ADAM MANDELBAUM ESQ.
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
New York is the last state to require grounds for divorce.
Here we are, the cultural capital of the world (maybe) the financial giant of the world (probably) the sin capital of the world (hopefully) and yet we still require grounds to split up a lousy marriage–other than the fact that the parties of the first and second part cannot stomach each other any more. Let’s look at my favorite idiotic grounds for divorce, let’s take a RAW LAW gander at cruel and
inhuman treatment.
DOMESTIC RELATIONS LAW SEC. 170. Action for divorce. An action for divorce may be maintained by a husband or wife to procure a judgment divorcing the parties and dissolving the marriage on any of the following grounds:
(1) The cruel and inhuman treatment of the plaintiff by the defendant such that the conduct of the defendant so endangers the physical or mental well being of the plaintiff as renders it unsafe or improper for the plaintiff to cohabit with the defendant.
“So endangers?” Why not just endangers? What the hell does “so” mean in this context? I hit you with a copy of the New York Times on the head, my dear–I am endangering you. Do I have to hit yo with a copy of The Post to “so endanger” you?
“Unsafe or improper?” Well, unsafe is pretty easy to determine. I point a gun at the old ball and chain, and that’s probably “unsafe.” But what is improper? How does a court determine improper–other than the usual method of seat of the pants frontier judicial determination?
What if my wife is a masochist, and gets off on being ball gagged and chained up? If I do that, is it improper enough to render a divorce decree? Obviously, if she doesn’t like that, we’re getting closer to what might be improper–maybe.
Oh, yes, gentle reader, I could wax eloquent and go on ad infinitum–but that will interfere with my drinking time. Ergo, ipso facto and presto change-o the point is, stupid weasel language like we find in this grounds for divorce is just not necessary in a civilized society. Why not forget
about grounds altogether? One party wants to quit–fine. Time to divvy up the goodies and make sure Muffy and Scooter have enough to support them through their formative years.
And that’s all folks.
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